I am pretty sure the chances of people who don't know me actually finding this blog and reading it, are slim to none. However, I imagine some of the people who will follow this may know who I am, but not really know what defines me. I thought I'd write a little about myself, so you get a better understanding of the person behind the blog.
If you asked me 5-10 years ago - "Who ARE you?" - the answer you would have received would have been much different than the answer you would get today. To be perfectly honest, I am not even sure what the answer would have been, as I truly can't remember who I was before I became a mother. I know I was a student, with dreams of finding a job related to the environment, or a job in teaching. I was a girlfriend, finacee, then wife, to the man who is also my best friend. We started dating when I was 16 years old, and since then, he has always been included in my "dreams" of the future, too. We bought a house and renovated it (and are now on house #2); we added 2 dogs to our family and loved on them as much as possible; we enjoyed picking up and going on road trips, to whereever the car took us. We had a lot of fun, as 2 people, with the world as their oyster. We still have a lot of fun....But even back then, my dreams always included the day I would become a mother. I vividly remember the day we got the positive pregnancy test - it was on my 25th birthday! I knew our world was about to change, but never would have guessed by just how much. I also remember the day our first son came into this world (in a way I never ever dreamt of, which is a whole other story in itself), but from that day forward, I was no longer just Jenno.....I became MOM!
Fast forward to today and I certainly know who I am - 100% Mommy! My kids are my life. Being a stay-at-home-mom is wonderful and I wouldn't change it for the world, but it does leave little opportunity for me to be something or someone, other than Mommy. I am okay with that. I try and make room for the other important aspects of my life - being a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. But being a Mommy comes first. Always. And being those other things almost always includes my kiddos now, too. I am no longer an employee, unless you consider my kids my "boss", so I have lost the social aspect that comes with working. Again, I am okay with that, as I wouldn't trade my life for any other job in the world. I know just how lucky I am to be able to stay home with my kids, and watch them grow up in front of me. I also know that this job isn't for everyone. It works for our house, and it works for me.
After becoming a mom, I still had, and still have, dreams of the future. Most of my dreams include my kids, and our family. I wonder what they will be like at 5, 10, 30 years of age. I wonder if they will love playing hockey, as much as their Daddy does. I wonder what their passions will be, what kind of goals they will set for themselves. I wonder about the kind of friends they will have, the social activities they will want to partake in. I wonder what tomorrow will bring. Or the day after that. And I wonder what kind of Mom I will be, every step of the way.
I also dream about what my future holds. Will I be a stay at home mom forever? Until they start school? Until they leave the nest? If/when I return to work, what kind job will I have? Will I ever get to teach again, something I truly enjoy doing? (Well, of course I will get to teach my kids, and that in itself is 100% fulfilling!)
Notice the pattern here? Every dream I have, everything I do, is always about my kids. I'm not saying this makes me the best mother, in fact, it could mean that it makes me less of everything else. I'm just trying to say that as a parent, as a Mommy, it is very easy to let that role be what defines you. I love that it does. I love pouring my heart and soul, my everything I have, into my children, our household, our family, OUR life. But I do understand that at some point, every mother or father, needs to make time to be more than just a parent. I know I need to devote more time to be just a wife. Not the mother-of-my-husband's children, but my husband's Wife. The woman he has spent the last 13 years with. The woman he decided to marry. A few months ago we went on a date, just the 2 of us, and for the first time in a long time, we were Jenn and Mike, not Mommy and Daddy. It felt good! I also need to make time for myself, to be able to re-charge, re-group, and re-lax! My "job" as Mommy and housewife is not 9-5. It's a 24/7 type job. But every employee is entitled to a day, or a few hours, off. I am fortunate to have a husband that lets me sneak away and enjoy a few hours of solitude now and then.
Anyway, I think I got a little off topic there. Point of all of this - being a mother is what defines me. I choose to let it be the main purpose of my existence. I love being home with my children. I love that at this point in their lives, I am tied for number one as their favourite person (let's not discredit Daddy!). I love experiencing life through their eyes, every single day. The innocence, the enthusiasm, and the wonder in which they see the world is breathtaking, inspiring, and down right awesome! I am one lucky woman....one lucky MOM!
Mommy is who I am. Take it or leave it......
No comments:
Post a Comment